Reflection: For A Change






From my April 27 Daily Kabbalah Tune Up:
"A great Kabbalist once said, "When you get busy worrying about the welfare of others, the Light gets busy worrying about you." ----- The Kabbalah Centre

Lately (up until now actually), I have been bothered by a lot of things on decisions I have made and what repercussions it may bring forward. I have been having sleepless nights, listless moments, and times when I just stay still for a long time - lost in my thoughts.

I'd say that I am at a stage in my life where, after years of bliss, I am facing one of my toughest challenges and this reminder presents me a new perspective - to worry about others instead.

Tough order, but may be worth a shot. I am not 100% sold to it yet, but possibly I should leave it all up to my old man upstairs. I know he has something better for me. Things happen for a reason.

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Fearless Forecast: American Idol Season 8

It's just four weeks to go and the new American Idol will be identified! Who would it be? Who would America choose? Who would Simon, Paula, Randy, and Kara be rooting for?


I've been loyally following this season's show. There were only two runs when I missed it, all because of work!
Then I missed the replays as well, but saw the elimination shows anyway.

As of this writing, there are only five of them left - Adam Lambert, Danny Gokey, Alison Iraheta, Matt Giraud, and Kris Allen. I would have to agree with Randy Jackson's comment that this season has one of the best contestants in the Top 13. And they're getting better and better as well as they inch themselves to the finale.

Obviously the crowd-faves are Adam and Danny who from the onset were already evident stars in their own right. Matt and Alison has been in the show's bottom three a couple of times while Kris has never been in it and is emerging to be the "dark horse" of the group.

Adam Lambert's theatrical background and love for singing has honed his vocal skills. His falsetto is amazing. Paula even compared him to the likes of the Rolling Stones. He does not fear to be different from the rest and continues to claim his performances as his own show. Apart from this, he is also good looking, confident, and his seeming dark aura makes him very appealing to both the female and male fans. In spite his allegedly gay photos circulating on the web, he remains to be much loved by his fans. He would definitely be in the final three.

Danny Gokey is one of the contestants featured during the auditions. He auditioned with his best friend who was equally good but was eliminated during the Hollywood week. Part of what was revealed about him was his wife died and so his singing is a tribute to her. At first I found that endearing but at some point I felt he used it a bit to increase his popularity. The judges often praise him for his perfect vocals. He reaches notes that are very difficult to do so. This guy is good. So good he can be a bore, but absolutely one of the top three.

Alison Iraheta, the last woman standing from the Final 13. This 16-year old can definitely sing and how powerful and bold she could be when she does so. What I like about her is she carries herself so well she shows who she really is. She's not a typical teenager with goody-good looks. She likes to be different, she dresses and acts according to her whim. This is manifested in her rocker-like look, red hair, and overall persona. Alison will definitely be someone to watch out for. At her age, she may still improve and perhaps someday become a recording artist. But for now, I'd say she's not going to win.

Matt Giraud. The judges, in spite Simon Cowell's equally fearless forecast that he's not going to win anyway, decided to use their "one-save" when he was pitted against Lil Rounds s a few weeks ago. He started strong with his Hollywood week audition with a Ray Charles song but week after week, with lousy song choices and his often been included in the bottom three has perchance dampened his spirits. He is struggling to stand out from among the best in his group. No doubt about it, he could sing well but like Alison, he will not make it.

Kris Allen. Ah, the singer with the boy-next-door looks. He just becomes a darling when he starts singing! I'd say that Kris began with lackluster appeal and seemingly subtle confidence but with the constant judges' prodding and advises for him to look and feel certain, he indeed is coming out from his shell and is rocking! His song renditions are varied and original. His rendition of "Ain't no Sunshine" while playing the piano and acoustic version of "She works hard for the money" were two of his best performances. Let me add that these were also two of the most memorable and original ones in the show! He's a genius! Sure ball top three.

So, is it going to be Adam, Danny, or Kris?

ADAM will be the shoo-in winner. But DANNY and KRIS will be great contenders and will undeniably have recording contracts after AI 8.


P.S. I like Adam Lambert but I heart Kris Allen!!!

Photo Credits: American Idol

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Review: Project Runway Season 5


This is one of my two fave fashion-related shows. The other being America's Next Top Model. Project Runway has never ceased to entertain me because of the over-the-top personalities that always take advantage of the camera and most of all, like any other reality show, I love the candidness!

This season's highlights were its episodes on creating something environment-frie
ndly (Episode 2: Grass is Always Greener), designing sports wear (Episode 4: Rings of Glory), making clothes for Brooke Shields of Lipstick Jungle (Episode 5: Welcome to the Jungle), and realizing a look based on astrological signs (Episode 9: What's your sign?). Some of the episode runs were a constant from previous seasons such as the designers creating clothes for each other, making something out of scratch, and transforming ordinary people's fashion for whatever purpose (like in this season, making over college graduates to help them enter the workforce). At one point, I felt bored and wanted to get through the judging part to know who won and who was out.

There were 16 designers who in m
y opinion were very talented but some of them lacked personality and pizzas. My darlings were: Kenley Collins (she's the one at the left on the photo below) for her fierce attitude, beautiful hair, and 50's-inspired creations; Stella Zotis (one in middle) for her rock style which she stubbornly integrated in all her creations; and Blayne Walsh (one at the right), who being the youngest (and gay) in the group added humor and drama on the show.


I'd say that this season's contestants were much much tame compared to previous seasons where there was Jay McCaroll (who would ever forget his no-holds-barred behavior?) of Season 1, Santino Rice (his mimickry of Tim Gunn was outrageous and he was often very outspoken during judging time) of Season 2, Jeffrey Sebelia (a friend of Santino who was equally eccentric but inspirational because of his determination to get past his previous lifestyle) of Season 3, and Christian Siriano (gay and fabulous, need I say more?) of Season 4. Oh how I loved their funny antics, tantrums, fights, and what-have-you's. They were totally amusing! I bet Project Runway gained more views in the past compared to Season 5.



On one hand, the fashion designs were contemporary, chic, and refreshing. I especially liked Leanne Marshall's (season winner) play of pastels, structure, and flow which she mentioned was inspired by water waves. She was also the only designer who showed variety by having dresses, pants, shorts, and skirts.



Kenley Collins' wedding gown was gorgeous, it was her best in her collection of 50's outfits (which by the way is her signature look). Her creations were so nice but all the judges agreed that they look like a famous designer's work, in other words, copy cat, whoah!


Korto Momolu's outfits were beautifully structured as well, but perhaps lacked some oomph. She had challenges finishing her work before the finale as she had to redo most of her gowns.

It is also notable that this was the first season to have an all-female team to have made it on the finals.
That's right, the fashion week finale was dominated by women! Girl power to the max!

The show also had more guest judges like Brooke Shields, LL Cool J, RuPaul (hilarious episode!), etal. It was also mentioned during the finale that Jennifer Lopez was supposed to be a judge but was not able to make it. Tim Gunn replaced her on the last minute.


Generally, Season 5 was amusing especially during judging time with Michael Kors, Nina Garcia, and Heidi Klum. Of course, I won't forget the ever-poised and critical (yet sensible) Tim Gunn's visits in the designers' work room where he would often be right on when he provides his comments and suggestions to the contestants' work.


I'm definitely looking forward to Season 6, which by the way going to air on Lifetime instead of Bravo.

Photo Credits:
BravoTV and Whatshaute

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Review: CSI Vegas Season 9

Over the past months, I haven't written so much. Been busy with my online shop, my daughter's final exams review, quest for a new job, and a bunch of other things.

I'm now so back and inspired to chronicle my pending reviews. I've recently seen the following (some finished, the others initial runs): CSI Vegas
Season 9, Project Runway Season 5, X-Men: Origins of Wolverine. Thanks to the long, hot, and lazy holy week break, My Love and I were able to sate our TV and DVD addiction.

Let me start with my all-time fave TV show, CSI Vegas. For CSI
fans who haven't finished the series, this is a spoiler… don't read.

Watching CSI Vegas Season 9 was particularly especial for me as it brought about good memories of a show I used to regularly and consistently follow since it started up until it's 6th season. For whatever reason, I stopped watching it until I recently read reviews and saw on a talk show that Grissom was leaving. That made me interested to check the latest season and I wasn't disappointed.

Of course, adult content is still a given, Nick Stokes (George Eads) is still a hunk, Greg Sanders (Eric Szmanda) is becoming a cute-guy-next-door character, and new characters are added. But the story line had evolved and became, I should say nostalgic, as Warrick Brown (Gary Dourdan) dies in the first episode and Grissom left on Episode 10 to be with Sara. I felt sad when Grissom (Wiliam Petersen) left but felt happy just the same as he followed his heart to be with Sara (Jorja Fox), his lover. That was just sweet.

Catherine Willows (Marg Helgenberger) took over the CSI team as their supervisor and new characters - Riley Adams (Lauren Lee Smith) and Ray Langston (Laurence Fishburne) entered the picture as new addition to the team.

They provide a different twist to the team's existing culture. Although Langston's point of entry, in my point of view was a bit lame. For lack of way to have him join the group, CSI Vegas scriptwriters decided to make him a professor who wrote a book on his close encounter with a savage criminal and in one episode decided to have the criminal virtually get interviewed by a group of university teachers. Grissom joins the group as he was gathering lead to an existing investigation. Twist of twists, in the end, the killer Grissom was looking for was actually in the group of university teachers who was a copy-cat a.k.a. protege of Langston's criminal interviewee.

What I like about Langston's character though is the fact that he shows his vulnerability in some scenes where he learns of the in's and out's of being a CSI. And they turnout funny. Riley's character on the other hand is a fresh take from Sara, Catherine, or Sofia Curtis (Louise Lombard, who plays a detective in previous seasons). She comes in smart but low-key and clouds her personality by adding mysteriousness in her personal life. For sure, she'd eventually disclose more of who she is.

Overall, CSI Vegas Season 9 is a good watch. Funny, I never outgrow the endless killings and mystery solving… it's not like I get high watching it, I just feel like I'm one of the characters or perhaps an imaginary character. It's a dream job for me. If I would have to deal with cadavers and blood, a CSI job would be exciting!

Photo Credits: Google, CBS

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Weight A Minute

What is it with some people? They don't see you for quiet sometime and when they do, they gush over your weight. "Wow you look so thin!!!" or "You gained weight!" Like your weight is the only thing that they notice. And I guess it is.

I've always been a victim of such *rap. Much to my displeasure, yeah, I consider my weight a frequent conversation starter with friends or former co-workers who I don't see for sometime and suddenly bump into when I least expect it. Perhaps it is because they have been a witness to my weight battles- lose here, gain there, lose again, gain again.

Just yesterday, my hubby and I were at Shopwise, Libis when we chanced upon one of our village friends (my hubby and her hubby are friends from before) and the first thing she said to me was "Parang ano ah…" (It looks like…") then looked at my well-gifted hips. I chuckled and shot back and said "Ganyan talaga pag yumayaman" (That's how it is when you're getting rich"). She smiled and said, "Oh of course!" and shifted to another topic with my hubby. I actually wanted to grab her and say, "What is it with you if I gained weight, you're not feeding me anyway!" Good thing my hubby was between us as I felt my claw-like hands were ready to inflict harm, big time.

Here's the thing, I'm sedentary - no activities, physical stuff whatsoever, and I love to eat. The last time I ever exercised was in 2005. That has been four years of eating to my heart's content and not being physically active. And now I'm overweight, unhealthy, and forlorn over my physical appearance. I find it extremely difficult to maintain being healthy. Unlike my health-buff-extraordinaire hubby who plays basketball 2-3 times a week, goes to the gym 2-3 times a week, does boxing, and sometimes golf, and a whole other alien world called sports.

I love food - noodles, crab, shrimp, beef, cakes, bread, ice cream, chips, and iced tea. When I'm happy, I celebrate. When I'm depressed I gobble food. I keep tabs on my emotions and when they're on a high, I also eat a lot. I surely do miss the days when I was able to fit in size XS clothes from Kamiseta, Bayo, Plains and Prints, YRYS. Now when I see those stores, I cringe in envy because I can't even fit in their decent large sizes.

What people don't know is I had bouts with my body who I feel has a mind of its own. Kidding aside, I am getting bothered with my self-esteem being overpowered by what I see on the weighing scale and not to mention our full- length miror at home.

Let me see, when I was a kid, I've always been slim… let me correct that, I was thin. I remember my Mom often giving me vitamins for me to gain weight, but to no avail. In high school, I noticed my appetite was also building up. Everyday, when I get home from school, I'd drink a liter of Coke together with my "kanin lamig" (cold rice) and leftover viand. I could also eat a big pack of Clover and Chippy in one sitting. All these and more, but I remained slim. After getting my first period and developed my booties and humps, that's when I started gaining weight, but still not on the heavy side.

Fast forward to landing my second job here in Manila, where I believe society dictates women be thin to fit in baby tees, slim-figured bootlegs, revealing mini-skirts, etc., I began to feel I had to be slim all the time, so I tried so many things to maintain my weight - from starving myself, taking in diet drinks, diet pills, exercising to the max, going on a diet, more and more diet, diet, diet. The more I did these things, the more that my weight yo-yo'ed. I balooned to 130 pounds when I was 22, at 4'11, you know that's over and beyond my ideal weight. After dieting, I'd slim down to 110 pounds and on extreme cases 105 pounds.

The biggest change happened when I got pregnant. I personally believed that I had to eat for two people all the time, tee-hee. My co- workers cum friends were amazed whenever we'd eat out in the Shangri-la mall. I'd eat a plate of rice and sizzling pork chop at House of Minis and still have space for a Chowking lariat on the side. I'd take a couple of Mister Donut donuts back to the office after. And have a big plate of pancit for an afternoon snack.

I did this everyday and became a walking balloon before giving birth. I was 180 pounds on my ninth month! I felt like my OB-Gyne didn't want me to eat anymore on my third trimester as I was alarmingly gaining a lot of weight, but I couldn't stop myself, LOL! Oh well, I lost 40 pounds after the delivery and went on plateau at 140 pounds for more than a year and gained weight up to 150 pounds after. I weighed more than Manny Pacquiao, darn!

I got inspired to go back to my slim weight in 2004 when I worked with a call center and bullies were every where. Co-workers picked on my being chubby. And because I want to prove them wrong that I could lose it, I enrolled in a gym near our place. I attended aerobic classes 7-8 times a week. I also asked a nutritionist to provide me a list of recipes I can use to keep my appetite healthy. I restrained myself from my fave foods, though I had cheat days as well but I turned conservatively timid towards food. This paid off I guess as I lost a total of 48 pounds . I reached a 102 pounds and oh yes, I turned into a different person altogether!

This was the most extreme I've become and oh how I loved myself. If not for my new job and not being able to go the gym as I used to, perhaps I would have lost more pounds and achieved size zero. But I would have been paper thin then.

Sigh. Now, I'm back to my only-God-knows-how-heavy-I-am weight. And I feel stressed and in dire need to lose weight. What with the pressure from media and my personal ambition to look and feel better, again. I need to find a way to put some skin in the game and start taking care of myself. I know it's a whole lot of work, and admitting I have a problem with it is a start.

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