What is it with some people? They don't see you for quiet sometime and when they do, they gush over your weight. "Wow you look so thin!!!" or "You gained weight!" Like your weight is the only thing that they notice. And I guess it is.I've always been a victim of such *rap. Much to my displeasure, yeah, I consider my weight a frequent conversation starter with friends or former co-workers who I don't see for sometime and suddenly bump into when I least expect it. Perhaps it is because they have been a witness to my weight battles- lose here, gain there, lose again, gain again.
Just yesterday, my hubby and I were at Shopwise, Libis when we chanced upon one of our village friends (my hubby and her hubby are friends from before) and the first thing she said to me was "Parang ano ah…" (It looks like…") then looked at my well-gifted hips. I chuckled and shot back and said "Ganyan talaga pag yumayaman" (That's how it is when you're getting rich"). She smiled and said, "Oh of course!" and shifted to another topic with my hubby. I actually wanted to grab her and say, "What is it with you if I gained weight, you're not feeding me anyway!" Good thing my hubby was between us as I felt my claw-like hands were ready to inflict harm, big time.
Here's the thing, I'm sedentary - no activities, physical stuff whatsoever, and I love to eat. The last time I ever exercised was in 2005. That has been four years of eating to my heart's content and not being physically active. And now I'm overweight, unhealthy, and forlorn over my physical appearance. I find it extremely difficult to maintain being healthy. Unlike my health-buff-extraordinaire hubby who plays basketball 2-3 times a week, goes to the gym 2-3 times a week, does boxing, and sometimes golf, and a whole other alien world called sports.
I love food - noodles, crab, shrimp, beef, cakes, bread, ice cream, chips, and iced tea. When I'm happy, I celebrate. When I'm depressed I gobble food. I keep tabs on my emotions and when they're on a high, I also eat a lot. I surely do miss the days when I was able to fit in size XS clothes from Kamiseta, Bayo, Plains and Prints, YRYS. Now when I see those stores, I cringe in envy because I can't even fit in their decent large sizes.
What people don't know is I had bouts with my body who I feel has a mind of its own. Kidding aside, I am getting bothered with my self-esteem being overpowered by what I see on the weighing scale and not to mention our full- length miror at home.
Let me see, when I was a kid, I've always been slim… let me correct that, I was thin. I remember my Mom often giving me vitamins for me to gain weight, but to no avail. In high school, I noticed my appetite was also building up. Everyday, when I get home from school, I'd drink a liter of Coke together with my "kanin lamig" (cold rice) and leftover viand. I could also eat a big pack of Clover and Chippy in one sitting. All these and more, but I remained slim. After getting my first period and developed my booties and humps, that's when I started gaining weight, but still not on the heavy side.
Fast forward to landing my second job here in Manila, where I believe society dictates women be thin to fit in baby tees, slim-figured bootlegs, revealing mini-skirts, etc., I began to feel I had to be slim all the time, so I tried so many things to maintain my weight - from starving myself, taking in diet drinks, diet pills, exercising to the max, going on a diet, more and more diet, diet, diet. The more I did these things, the more that my weight yo-yo'ed. I balooned to 130 pounds when I was 22, at 4'11, you know that's over and beyond my ideal weight. After dieting, I'd slim down to 110 pounds and on extreme cases 105 pounds.
The biggest change happened when I got pregnant. I personally believed that I had to eat for two people all the time, tee-hee. My co- workers cum friends were amazed whenever we'd eat out in the Shangri-la mall. I'd eat a plate of rice and sizzling pork chop at House of Minis and still have space for a Chowking lariat on the side. I'd take a couple of Mister Donut donuts back to the office after. And have a big plate of pancit for an afternoon snack.
I did this everyday and became a walking balloon before giving birth. I was 180 pounds on my ninth month! I felt like my OB-Gyne didn't want me to eat anymore on my third trimester as I was alarmingly gaining a lot of weight, but I couldn't stop myself, LOL! Oh well, I lost 40 pounds after the delivery and went on plateau at 140 pounds for more than a year and gained weight up to 150 pounds after. I weighed more than Manny Pacquiao, darn!
I got inspired to go back to my slim weight in 2004 when I worked with a call center and bullies were every where. Co-workers picked on my being chubby. And because I want to prove them wrong that I could lose it, I enrolled in a gym near our place. I attended aerobic classes 7-8 times a week. I also asked a nutritionist to provide me a list of recipes I can use to keep my appetite healthy. I restrained myself from my fave foods, though I had cheat days as well but I turned conservatively timid towards food. This paid off I guess as I lost a total of 48 pounds . I reached a 102 pounds and oh yes, I turned into a different person altogether!
This was the most extreme I've become and oh how I loved myself. If not for my new job and not being able to go the gym as I used to, perhaps I would have lost more pounds and achieved size zero. But I would have been paper thin then.
Sigh. Now, I'm back to my only-God-knows-how-heavy-I-am weight. And I feel stressed and in dire need to lose weight. What with the pressure from media and my personal ambition to look and feel better, again. I need to find a way to put some skin in the game and start taking care of myself. I know it's a whole lot of work, and admitting I have a problem with it is a start.
Just yesterday, my hubby and I were at Shopwise, Libis when we chanced upon one of our village friends (my hubby and her hubby are friends from before) and the first thing she said to me was "Parang ano ah…" (It looks like…") then looked at my well-gifted hips. I chuckled and shot back and said "Ganyan talaga pag yumayaman" (That's how it is when you're getting rich"). She smiled and said, "Oh of course!" and shifted to another topic with my hubby. I actually wanted to grab her and say, "What is it with you if I gained weight, you're not feeding me anyway!" Good thing my hubby was between us as I felt my claw-like hands were ready to inflict harm, big time.
Here's the thing, I'm sedentary - no activities, physical stuff whatsoever, and I love to eat. The last time I ever exercised was in 2005. That has been four years of eating to my heart's content and not being physically active. And now I'm overweight, unhealthy, and forlorn over my physical appearance. I find it extremely difficult to maintain being healthy. Unlike my health-buff-extraordinaire hubby who plays basketball 2-3 times a week, goes to the gym 2-3 times a week, does boxing, and sometimes golf, and a whole other alien world called sports.
I love food - noodles, crab, shrimp, beef, cakes, bread, ice cream, chips, and iced tea. When I'm happy, I celebrate. When I'm depressed I gobble food. I keep tabs on my emotions and when they're on a high, I also eat a lot. I surely do miss the days when I was able to fit in size XS clothes from Kamiseta, Bayo, Plains and Prints, YRYS. Now when I see those stores, I cringe in envy because I can't even fit in their decent large sizes.
What people don't know is I had bouts with my body who I feel has a mind of its own. Kidding aside, I am getting bothered with my self-esteem being overpowered by what I see on the weighing scale and not to mention our full- length miror at home.
Let me see, when I was a kid, I've always been slim… let me correct that, I was thin. I remember my Mom often giving me vitamins for me to gain weight, but to no avail. In high school, I noticed my appetite was also building up. Everyday, when I get home from school, I'd drink a liter of Coke together with my "kanin lamig" (cold rice) and leftover viand. I could also eat a big pack of Clover and Chippy in one sitting. All these and more, but I remained slim. After getting my first period and developed my booties and humps, that's when I started gaining weight, but still not on the heavy side.
Fast forward to landing my second job here in Manila, where I believe society dictates women be thin to fit in baby tees, slim-figured bootlegs, revealing mini-skirts, etc., I began to feel I had to be slim all the time, so I tried so many things to maintain my weight - from starving myself, taking in diet drinks, diet pills, exercising to the max, going on a diet, more and more diet, diet, diet. The more I did these things, the more that my weight yo-yo'ed. I balooned to 130 pounds when I was 22, at 4'11, you know that's over and beyond my ideal weight. After dieting, I'd slim down to 110 pounds and on extreme cases 105 pounds.
The biggest change happened when I got pregnant. I personally believed that I had to eat for two people all the time, tee-hee. My co- workers cum friends were amazed whenever we'd eat out in the Shangri-la mall. I'd eat a plate of rice and sizzling pork chop at House of Minis and still have space for a Chowking lariat on the side. I'd take a couple of Mister Donut donuts back to the office after. And have a big plate of pancit for an afternoon snack.
I did this everyday and became a walking balloon before giving birth. I was 180 pounds on my ninth month! I felt like my OB-Gyne didn't want me to eat anymore on my third trimester as I was alarmingly gaining a lot of weight, but I couldn't stop myself, LOL! Oh well, I lost 40 pounds after the delivery and went on plateau at 140 pounds for more than a year and gained weight up to 150 pounds after. I weighed more than Manny Pacquiao, darn!
I got inspired to go back to my slim weight in 2004 when I worked with a call center and bullies were every where. Co-workers picked on my being chubby. And because I want to prove them wrong that I could lose it, I enrolled in a gym near our place. I attended aerobic classes 7-8 times a week. I also asked a nutritionist to provide me a list of recipes I can use to keep my appetite healthy. I restrained myself from my fave foods, though I had cheat days as well but I turned conservatively timid towards food. This paid off I guess as I lost a total of 48 pounds . I reached a 102 pounds and oh yes, I turned into a different person altogether!
This was the most extreme I've become and oh how I loved myself. If not for my new job and not being able to go the gym as I used to, perhaps I would have lost more pounds and achieved size zero. But I would have been paper thin then.
Sigh. Now, I'm back to my only-God-knows-how-heavy-I-am weight. And I feel stressed and in dire need to lose weight. What with the pressure from media and my personal ambition to look and feel better, again. I need to find a way to put some skin in the game and start taking care of myself. I know it's a whole lot of work, and admitting I have a problem with it is a start.
No comments:
Post a Comment